What My First Spiritual Awakening Taught Me

As I look back on my journey, it has been filled with many subtle awakenings and initiations. Then, there are the moments where things really shifted. The true awakenings that “rocked my socks” so to speak and completely uprooted my life, bringing me to an entirely new paradigm. 

Today, I am going to share my first true awakening. 

The year was 2016. In fact, it was probably around this time ten years ago. I had just entered my second semester of my freshman year of college and I was beyond lost. Right before college, my entire identity had been stripped away when my orthopedic surgeon told me I could no longer play soccer…the one thing I had worked towards my entire life. My “plan”. The only thing I thought I was really good at. 

I was lost. I was angry. I was so scared. 

And unfortunately, at that point I didn’t have the tools or awareness that I do now. I didn’t know that there was more to me than soccer. I didn’t know how to process any of the emotions I was feeling. I felt like I let everyone down.

I was simply surviving. My entire body was in such a state of fight or flight, that I was experiencing more anxiety than I had ever felt in my life. I was truly about to burn out entirely. 

Luckily, I had noticed a little nudge within me, whispering that there was more than this. That feeling this awful all the time wasn’t normal. That there was a way out of this. And that way out was through my intuition.

I was guided to pick up one of my mediumship books. For those of you who are unfamiliar with my journey, soccer was my world growing up; I was playing, practicing, or working out with my trainer literally seven days a week and traveling all over the country. 

In tandem to this, I also had these spiritual “gifts” so to speak. I could see, sense, and communicate with spirits. I was able to bring forth messages about loved ones I had never met and knew nothing about. I had these crazy prophetic dreams. I struggled sleeping alone because everytime I closed my eyes, it was like the room came alive with spirits. I would often see spirits in my home or the homes of others. These experiences were not “normal” and besides the John Edward and Sylvia Browne books my mom and grandfather read, there really wasn’t much in the way of how to help a child who was experiencing these things. Most people just thought I was crazy and needed to see a Psychiatric Doctor. Luckily, my family didn’t think I was crazy and my mom found me someone who could help me understand all of this; a spiritual mentor. I started seeing her frequently by the time I was in middle school.

Even though a lot of you reading this probably think this is so cool and I have often heard that others wished they experienced these things as a child, I did not. I resented these gifts. When I sat with my mentor something in me lit up. She made me feel seen and not crazy. Intuition and spirituality felt familiar or like "home". But, as soon as I was alone again, I was terrified. I just longed for a “normal” life and soccer provided that for me.

So, as I look back, the universe was always guiding me here. Being forced out of soccer and playing at a very high collegiate level, feeling worse than I had ever in my life, and finally being called to pick up a mediumship book was all divinely orchestrated. 

This was the beginning of a spiritual awakening that would totally transform my life. It was filled with many layers that took years to complete. And I think that is important to emphasize because in today's world, we want everything to happen immediately. But unfortunately, that just isn’t the reality of life. Most big shifts take a significant amount of time.

Throughout this journey there was many highs and lows.

I would feel really excited, and then the next day, I would feel confused and question everything.

I would feel expansive like the opportunities were endless and the world was my oyster. But then, I would feel crazy and try to “come back down to earth” and be "practical" or "realistic".

I felt so inspired by this new chapter but then I would miss my old life and wish I could just go back there because it just felt simpler and easier than the growth and pressure I was experiencing. 

This journey often felt like a never ending roller coaster.

What helped me the most during this time was:

1. Following my interests
2. A supportive community
3. Faith

Following my interests:

For me, this was the easy part. I love learning and when I am all in, I am alllll in. So I totally submerged myself in all of the spiritual books, classes, and often spent much of my free time meditating or at yoga. 

I didn’t have a plan. I didn’t know that all of this would lead to me starting my business. I just really enjoyed it. Therefore, I chose to spend most of my time diving deeper into this realm. It provided me with inspiration, passion, and opened my energy up to new possibilities.

I think this is really important when you are experiencing your own spiritual awakening. You need to find things that you love and enjoy. You need to be open to trying new things. Because even if that “thing” doesn’t end up being anything more than a class you went to one time, something important will come from it. Whether it is showing you what you don’t want, connecting you with your future best friend, or guiding you closer to your true calling. Everything has a purpose and you won’t grow unless you try new things. 

A supportive community:

This one is huge. I see my clients struggle with this again and again. Feeling alone or isolated because their partner doesn't understand them, none of their friends are “spiritual”, their family thinks they have just gone nuts. At the end of the day, you are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Therefore, it is crucial that you are very selective with your energy during this awakening period. Spend time with people who support you or have been through similar things that you are currently going through. For me, spending time with my mentor helped tremendously. Then, I started taking some of her classes, where I was able to meet people who shared similar interests. I also found it really powerful to listen to podcasts. Podcasts of people who had already been there. This was huge for me. Because the things I was feeling and wanting, I hadn’t seen anyone in my life accomplish. By listening to these individuals and being in their energy by listening to their podcast, it gave me permission. It opened me up to the truth that it was possible for me too. 

Faith:

Having some sort of faith or connection to a higher power was really important for me. I actually think this is the most important. Because without faith, we are nothing. Whether you believe in God, the universe, source, angels, etc. having trust in something greater will get you through this time of uncertainty and immense change. I found peace in knowing that everything was happening for me. I loved asking for signs and then receiving them. I loved the confirmation spirit would give me through other people. My faith kept me grounded. Honestly, it kept me sane. So, my recommendation for you would be to lean into whatever it is that you believe in. How can you deepen your relationship to it? This is the underlying energy behind everything that you do. Your faith will be the thing that gets you through those days of complete uncertainty, where you don’t know how it all will work out. Your faith will guide you back home to yourself.

If you’re reading this and you feel like this is you right now, please know that you aren't alone. So many are going through some sort of awakening right now. Whether it is your first awakening, or what feels like the millionth, have faith in knowing it will lead you to something even more magical, as long as you allow yourself to flow with it. The moment you stop trying to hold onto the past or force things to “stay” because it is all that you’ve known, is the moment everything starts to move again. 

Even though these shifts, clearings, and leaps can be scary, they are essential in order to get you to your next level. Remember, nothing changes if nothing changes. Everything you are experiencing right now is happening for you. It is guiding you back home to yourself. The light isn’t at the end of the tunnel, you are that light. 

Own it. Stand in it. Embody it. 

If you are wanting more support as you dive deeper into your spiritual journey, my Aligned App is the perfect place for you to begin! It is an endless virtual library filled with all the tools needed to connect with, heal, and understand yourself and your intuition. Click below to receive your first month for just $1. 

You are not broken, you are simply awakening. 

Xoxo, 

Gabriella